I get in the trouble with law

Some of you saying to yourself, "Where that Jorge Carlito Viejo person disappear to? Maybe did he go to the Siberian gulag? Maybe did he meet the supermodel, go to the secret island where is the volcano that spew pure gold nuggets? Maybe did he got shot by disgruntled former child star from Waste of Time Production days, like that I. Robertson person who was child star in such gems as Lost Brother where he dance and look like the ghetto superstar?" No, he didn't do none of these things. Actually, he...that is to say "I"...was in the county jail for a few weeks and they didn't allow me to having the, how you say, access to a computer on the internet. Instead they make me read really old Dean Koontz novels and play lots of Spades while in small cell block with lots of smelly beardy people. Also, the food not the sort of good latin cuisine like Mojas Verde con Leche. No, the food was lots of corn and that sort of meat made from the pig toes call the bologna. Why I went to this plae, you wonder? Because I crash car into Danny Devito's pool. Maybe you heard about it on E! Entertainment Television. They mention it once. Why I crashing in there? I became determined to see if Danny Devito really is just an animatronic ostrich egg with little shoes glued on the bottom. I try to get Dan Rather to investigate, but he said something about he retired and going to France. Also, I try to get Peter Jennings, but he being the Canadian didn't understand my accent of how I speak. So I go to investigate myself. What I didn't know is that Danny EggVito have a swimming pool hiding behind the fence of his backyard, so if you drive through the fence too fast, you go in water. Oh, well. I learn too late. Now I have court date. I will tell you more about that when I stop crying.