Life on Mars?

This Reuters article states that scientists are now speculating about the possibility of life on the red planet, based on images transmitted back from the High Resolution Stereo Camera (HRSC). Your intrepid reporter has managed to obtain some of the notes from the scientists, to give you a more detailed pook at the thinking behind these bold, new speculations:

May 3, 2004 - Image 7200.891 reveals a small cluster of brittle layers of what appear to be carbon-based molecules in a non-naturalistic rectangular shape. London lab speculates that Martians may have developed the Crunchie bar, 10 million years before Cadbury.

July 18, 2004 - Images 9876.001, 9876.002, and 9876.007 all contain the same pattern. After careful examination, the Memphis spectrometry labs confirm that the image is in fact that of Elvis, from the Christmas album. We agree to leak the information to the Weekly World News in August.

November 29, 2004 - Images 9876.543.210 and 9876.543.210A are some of the most astounding yet. The highly reflective orb present in these images is clearly a disco ball. Unfortunately, while this has given us our strongest hope of proving there was life on Mars, we have given up all hope of proving there was intelligent life on Mars.