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Thursday, May 19, 2005

No more Star Wars...

This weekend marks the release of the last film of the Star Wars series. The sixth film is called Star Wars Part 3: Revenge of the Sith and is about Annakin Skywalker's disturbing transformation into a lisping Cindy Brady, and also George Lucas' inability to count.

Lucas claimed at the Cannes Film Festival that his last entry in the series was designed to be implicitly critical of the Bush Administration, and he underscored that point by casting filmmaker Michael Moore as Jabba the Hut. (Although he added that he did so with the budget in mind as well. "Michael needed very little makeup and almost no prosthetics, besides the tongue, for the role," Lucas confessed.) He also insisted that Darth Vader wear a cowboy hat and constantly refer to Obi-Wan Kenobi as "Osama Bin Kenobi" and "Oblee Dan Kenshogi".

Critics have given the film mixed reviews, complimenting its special effects and cinematography by writing reviews containing several instances of the word "OOOOOh", while pointing out that the acting was only marginally better than William Shatner's Priceline commericals, and only thanks to Yoda's dramatic love scene with Anakin.

Lucas has said he will make no more films in the series, despite the fact that he originally stated the story would take nine films to tell, proving once again that the man's maths are a pathetic shambles. There is apparently no truth to the rumour that he was seen leaving France with a screenplay tucked under his arm and entitled Star Wars 11: Jar-Jar Lashes Out!


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