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Sunday, July 17, 2005

The Great White Warwick Way

It's coming, just like we hoped, just like we dreamed, it is coming to Broadway. No longer will this musical masterpiece play in the Grinny Goodtime Theater in Greenwich Village where the beer flows like wine and the wine flows like something you going to find coming out of the rusty random pipe jutting from the dungeon wall. At last, it is coming to the Neil Simon Theater near loverly Times Square. That's right, Waiting for Warwick, the musical extravaganza is opening soon, and tickets going to be more scarce than a, how you going to say, barbecued spotted owl at a Peta convention, so get your tickets right at this very exact moment that I am making these letters appear on the screen! Did I mention Waiting for Warwick is playing in the Neil Simon Theater? Yes, the very theater that previously housed the musical Gay Ducks.

Waiting for Warwick is based upon the life and times of none other than Warwick Davis, and has a cast of multitalented stars the likes of which you never going to have been seeing on one stage together before, during or after this one. Danny Devito plays the coveted role of Warwick Davis, and Warwick Davis plays the role of James Cromwell, his grandfather. Also there is a special appearance by John Leguizamo as Heddy Lamar and Burt Reynolds as an ostrich egg. This musical is full of dancery, prancery and fantastispecial songery. The following is a sample chorus line for you to read, with bonus guitar tab to help you play and sing along whilst reading and dreaming about the rare tickets that you will never buy.

( C Em D Em C)
Warwick! Oooooh! Warwick Davis!

(D A C A D A)
Seventy pounds of dynamite. He's alright.

(A C Em D A C A C Em)
He's Warwick! Make War not love! Make Warwick!

(C D Em C D)
Three feet of magic in a homespun leathern satchel!

(D C A Em A)
Mystical, magical, fun-fantabulal Warwick!

(C A Em D A)
I think he stole my wallet! Warwick? WAR-WICK!

(now there is some prancery and screaming and lights dimming and general sweatery and excitement abounding unto thee)

Can you not sense in your sacred tissues how powerful this musical will be? I mean, we all enjoyed Gay Ducks, but this will be ever so much the, how you going to say, good. Go right now and see it. Right now! Don't even read the last sentence of this blog entry but go see Waiting for Warwick instead. You are reading the last sentence instead of seeing it, just like I warned you not to do, you fool, for now you are accursed!


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