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Wednesday, August 10, 2005

MTV Jackass! goes to Yankee Stadium?

Last night, during a game between the New York Yankees and the Chicago White Sox, a fan, apparently driven to madness by boredom, leapt from the upper deck of Yankee Stadium and fell 40 feet on to a safety net below.

The fan, Scott Harper, told police that he was "Doing an audition tape for Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus...but if they don't enjoy my work, I hear MTV Jackass! might make a comeback." A spokesman for Ringling Bros. called Mr. Harper's leap "amateurish" and stated that the world famous circus could "find 3-legged carny geeks that can fall better than that."

In a related story, Yankees owner George Steinbrenner stated that the franchise would be extending the safety net to the full length of the upper deck and changing the "Seventh-Inning Stretch" to the "Seventh-Inning Plunge". "I really think we've got something here," said Steinbrenner, while counting through a wad of thousand-dollar bills. "We proved the net can hold the weight of at least one person, and I've been looking for a gimmick to raise the price on upper deck seats for years."

The Yankees will kickoff this new feature in their interleague home game against the Colorado Rockies. Coincidentally, "Take A Dive for the Yankees Night" will also feature nickel beer.

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