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Sunday, August 07, 2005

The Perils of Sport

The summer has had us a bit down here at DOUI, and we apologize for the reduced number of posts. My computer travails have kept my numbers down. (Expected PC delivery date: Thursday - so expect no posts from Earl around then as I will be setting up the PC and putting in all the essential software, such as Championship Manager, Links LS, and, if I get around to it, MS Office.) Jorge Carlito remains intermittent at best, due to movie productions and stalking Warwick Davis. Stew still has no Internet access at home, making him less connected than Osama Bin Laden, who seems to have the only caves in Afghanistan (Pakistan, Iran, or wherever the evil bastard is) with Internet access.

Speaking of Osucka, I learnt something very distressing about Al Queda's front man. Apparently Osama is a Gooner. For those of you not familiar with soccer, Gooners are of course the loyal fans of Arsenal football club in England (The Gunners, or Gooners in the local vernacular.) Faithful readers of this blog know that I am a faithful Gooner (and will be watching the FA Community Shield to see the Gunners down Chelsea tomorrow), so finding out that terrorist number 1 is an Arsenal fan is a spectacularly awful discovery. I was sure he was Spurs, Chelsea , or perhaps Dagenham & Redbridge. Alas, no.

Apparently, when Osama was in London as a student, he became entranced with the Gunners and may even have attended a few matches. The thought of this wild-eyed promoter of mass-murder bouncing up and down on the terraces on the Clock End after a Liam Brady goal gives me a large stomach-ache. They say that you can always find something good about anyone, and, as we are all created in the image of God, I certainly believe it. I suppose this is Osama's silver lining. A pity the cloud itself is a bloodbath slice of hell.

So, I suppose we'll have plenty of Arsenal/Osama jokes from opposing fans this year and beyond. Let them come. We can just start rumours that Hitler was a Tottenham man, Pol Pot a Cottager, Kim Il Sung a Lions man, and Mao Tse Tung a Geordie. Castro? Well, he's a baseball guy.

Sports is really quite strange sometimes. So I have this in common with the plotter of the most devastating terrorist attack on American soil, that we'll both be pulling against Chelsea tomorrow. If someone would just catch this murderer, I could live with a loss.

Some things are more important than sports or comedy.



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