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Monday, August 08, 2005

You forgot to duck, dude!

Researchers have made the claim that while some forms of life were snuffed out by meteroites, other life forms made have been aided by the same.

A dramatization follows:

Scene: Somewhere in the late Cretaceous Period. A Wednesday. Noon. In present day Cleveland. The rough side of town.

A majestic prehistoric jungle. The trees rise as high as giant Manute Bols. The air is as steamy as a Tommy Lee/Pamela Sue Anderson home movie, only not as foul smelling. The floor of the jungle is overrun with ferns, ivy, and prehistoric Kudzu, covering the fantastic post-Jurassic linoleum, laid down by the Allosaurs.

In the midst of this jungle sits a small weasel-like mammal, one of the first of its kind. It is nibbling on one of the ferns. Behind it, with unusual stealth, creeps up a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Slowly, it moves closer to the weasel ancestor, its great jaws opening slowly, saliva dripping onto the jungle floor, just like in the movie Alien (Ian Holm, not the Alien.) The tiny mammal sits, oblivious to its impending fate, until, inches away, the shadow of the great lizard drapes over the weasel-like creature like Roseanne Barr over Tom Arnold's reputation.

Suddenly, from out of the sky, a large meteorite zooms down, flattening the Tyrannosaur like a roadkill under a truck convoy, but completely missing the mammal.

Mammal: (Does a Red Skelton double-take) How about them apples!

He lopes off into the foilage to reproduce at a rate that would make a Pakistani blush.

FIN.

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