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Monday, August 08, 2005

Snuppy love?!?!?!

Please excuse my absence last week but I was traveling to South Korea to report on the latest scientific achievement from the land of Hyundai’s. Many of you saw the story that scientists at Seoul National University had cloned a dog, which they gave the moniker Snuppy which is short for Seoul National University puppy. Apparently the Koreans took adult dog skin cells and did a Harry Potter number on them producing a puppy from the adult cells.

In today’s society there are of course varying opinions on the ethical and moral dilemmas of cloning but the possibilities with canines are intriguing. Just think if we could have cloned Lassie, Rin Tin Tin, or Benji and exposed another generation to the exploits of these plucky little flea traps. Why if this dog cloning had been around only thirty years ago we might still be enthralled by the adventures of Joe and the inestimable Sergeant Corey from Run Joe, Run.

I was able to secure the first interview with Snuppy using Seoul Universities newly invented universal dog translating equipment and software.

Stew: Snuppy can you understand me?

Snuppy: Arf Arf Woof Arf eeeeeewwwwwweeeeeeeewwwww…Whoa, that always freaks me out when humans start talking to me.

Stew: So, how does it feel to be the first cloned dog?

Snuppy: Feels great Stew, I really don’t feel any different from your common pooch except of course for the pooping out of my nose.

Stew: That must be an annoyance.

Snuppy: Well, they say they’re working on it but… man, it can get to be a bit smelly at times. I try to avoid beans and eggs as much as possible.

Stew: I understand that the university team is working on other cloned creatures to add to the stable, no pun intended.

Snuppy: Ha, Ha very funny. They are working on a few things, the only ones I have seen so far are the SNitten, Red SNapper, SNuffleupagus, and SiNead O’Connor.

Stew: Sinead O’Connor?

Snuppy: Yeah, I don’t know where that one is coming from either, but I think it has to do with the bald chick who hangs around tearing up pictures of the pope.

Stew: That’s interesting…AHHHH!!!!!!! What in the name of Methuselah is THAT!!!!!!!

Snuppy: That’s just a superfluous tentacle, seems a bit of the squid DNA got mixed up in my Petri dish. I think they said they were working on a super snoctopus or something.

Stew: That’s weird. Snuppy, don’t take this wrong but you’re a freak of nature.

Snuppy: Yeah, well…Arf Woof Arf Arf Woof.

Stew: Sorry I didn’t quite catch that.

Snuppy: You didn’t want to believe me.

Stew: What do they have in store for you now?

Snuppy: They haven’t told me but I plan on making a break for it if anyone decides they need a little protein with their kimchi if you know what I mean.

Stew: Well, good luck Snuppy, whatever life throws at you.

Snuppy: Free Mumia!! (click) Arf Arf Woof Arf Arf.

And with that Snuppy was returned to the kennel where he will undoubtedly live to a ripe old age.

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