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Thursday, October 06, 2005

The rare speckled Hollywood loons...

are at it again. When Earl sent me the article linked to in his post below, I had to do a double and spit-take simultaneously. Now that I've returned from the chiropractor I can make a comment. What will these loons do next? With that comment out of the way let us move on to ridiculing Nick Cage and a few others. VIVA LAS VEGAS, what was he thinking?!?!?!? Wow, I just can't get over the thought of young Kal-El hanging upside down from a tree at some prestigious west coast private school listening to taunts of "Let's see ya fly down from there, Superman!". I'm sure young master Kal-El's bodyguards will thrash them within an inch of their lives; but still, it could be damaging to his young psyche.

In other news, TomKat is expecting and one must wonder what name this poor spawn of the off-kilter Hollywood duo will be shackled with. I understand that Tom is working with a fitness and couch jumping expert now for his next stint on Oprah. Since I often wonder about these things I went down to the local B. Dalton's and bought my own copy of Webster's Book of Common Hollywood Names. Here are some of the more interesting choices for the progeny of Tom and Katie.

A

Apocalypse - brother of Regis.

B

Batman- he who wears the Bat-a-rang.

C

Cyclops - he who could be played by LaVar Burton.

D

Doctor Doom - one who needs Zoloft.

E

Elektra - she who is sponsored by Ginsu.

...skipping down a little.

H

Hulk - he who you don't want to make angry, you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

...skipping.

J

Jor-El - Marlon Brando on a bad hair day.

...skipping, already know what Kal-El is...

M

Mr. Fantastic - (From the Spanish) SeƱor Fantastico.

...getting really tired of this

P

Professor X - he who makes Mr. Clean look like Fabio.

Anyhow, you get the idea. I just hope that little Jor-El Hulk X Cruise doesn't end up with too many wet willies from his classmates. I say this concerned about the classmates when young JHX's father comes to school and threatens them for being rude.

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