You mess with Harpo Marx, you get the horns.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Disney-land, Disney-land über alles!!! Well, it's Disney WORLD but you'll understand.

Let me preface this post by saying that my colleagues at DOUI and I are the exact Poland, er I mean polar, opposites of everything the the Neo-Nazi movement stands for. While it may be true that I can be seen wearing a Gestapo uniform in our second effort at cinema, it was worn only for dramatic effect and, just like young Prince Harry, I apologize for any offense. That out of the way, I saw an article today concerning a Neo-Nazi march and related violence in Orlando, Florida.

Now as many of you may know, Disney World is one of my favorite vacation destinations only eclipsed by Lukas Short's dude ranch out in Taos. To hear that these scumbags have desecrated the ground so close to the Magic Kingdom sends chills down my spine. I know that the incident didn't occur in Disney World but knowing Disney's penchant for inclusion, as seen in its gay and lesbian day ( slated for Frontierland this year) and Night of Joy (which I whole-heartedly endorse), I'm worried we might see Neo-Nazi Nights or Hitlerfest 2006 if we're not careful.

I hurried over to the Disney website to determine if there had been any repercussions from the event affecting Disney and was surprised to find some unusual, un-Disney activity.

  • Epcot - The Germany pavilion in the World Showcase will observe a curfew tonight beginning at 7 pm. Violators will be shot.
  • Magic Kingdom - Renaming of "it's a small world" attraction to "it's a fascist world" and opening of new fireworks presentation "Blitzkrieg over Main Straße" starring the Stuka dancers and the whole Disney gang.
  • Animal Kingdom - New attraction, It's Tough to be a Dictator starring Tony Danza as Hitler and Marilu Henner as Eva Braun. Join Tony, Marilu, and their animal pals Goebbels the Gerbil and Göring the Goat in a fascinating look at the trials and tribulations of one of Europe's most misunderstood landscape painters.
  • Magic Kingdom - Daily Zeppelin flights beginning in April 2006.
  • Disney Studios - New attraction opening in May 2006, Drew Carey presents: "The Reichstag Fire". See how our special effects artists torch the seat of German government again and again to the delight of the gathered crowd.

Let's keep an eye on things down there.

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