It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Paranoia: Is it more than just an oddly spelled word?

Sinister things are afoot. That may seem like a very strange way to begin a post but the more I come off the Haldol the more I think that some sinister force is out there controlling our actions. Take a look at this little beauty for instance:



What exactly are they saying here? Is it me that is powering Blogger, are they somehow draining energy from my body to run the site? I don't want to power Blogger, do I have a choice, or are they merely stealing my precious brainwave energy (no jokes Earl) to power their diabolical machinations and plans for world domination. Then, just when I'm about to put on my Star of David rotating helmet, I run my cursor (another odd word) over the little button and what does it tell me, "Powered by Blogger". Now I'm just getting confused, is it me powering Blogger or is Blogger powering my actions on the blog. Do they have some sort of psycho-kinetic energy that they are transferring to me through the "blog interface"? When the virtual fascade is ripped away will we find something akin to the Matrix, only looking more like the Wizard of Oz with the accompanying levers and large gears, controlling our actions?

Don't get me wrong, I'm no black helicopter, conspiracy theory believing wacko sitting around wearing a tinfoil hat. Mine's made of thin-plate aluminum backed by a special ceramic that I have made out of tree resin and melted plastic Army men. But I digress. Yet, we must wonder what is going wrong in a world where Lindsey Lohan and Adam Sandler are free to star in multiple films per year and where Brett Ratner is allowed to direct them. A world where David Copperfield is allowed to impregnate women on-stage, or at all for that matter. A world where Madonna claims to have "gotten religion" and where an actor is governor of California. OK, so that last one isn't such a leap but you get my point.

Oh, and this just in: Jerry Lewis is planning on producing a musical based on "The Nutty Professor". Now, where's that helmet, I know I set it down here somewhere.

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