It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A Bewitching Festival

I want to begin by apologizing for the delay in bringing this wonderful news to our readers. However, if you catch a plane early today you might be able to make it to Salem, Massachusetts for the last day of the Bewitched Festival. When I heard the news this morning during my ride to work I was taken aback as I thought the festival was in August, the more bewitching of months in my opinion. I have actually never been to the festival but had hoped to make the trip before I was too old to enjoy it. I've heard that the Gladys Kravitz mosh pit can be a really exhilarating experience with its mixture of hardcore and ska-core dancing.

I sent an e-mail to the event coordinator Skandar Flutewhistle who was nice enough to send me an event schedule. I'll post it below for all of the Bewitched faithful who hit Next Blog today.

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BEWITCHEDAPOLOOZA XIII

That time is here again when all our witches and warlocks descend on Salem, MA for fun and frolicks. Just like every year we ask that black magic be kept to a minimum and please deposit litter in the waste recepticles provided. Please browse the events list below to decide what you'd like to do while here. Have a great time!!!!!!!!!

-Skandar the Mystic

The Aunt Clara Symposium - Was she simply the addled witch that we know and love or did her confused musings have deeper meaning? Experts in this field of study have spent countless hours reviewing tapes of the episodes to find an answer to the question. Please join
Dr. Gluteus Minimus and Ted Blastfurnace as they discuss the results of their research.

The Gladys Kravitz Mosh Pit - Get down with your hardcore self as you enjoy moshing with your friends and relatives. Featured acts include:

Monday - Endora's Posse
Tuesday - Dick Ska-rgent
Wednesday- The Tabitha's

Who Was the Biggest Dick? - The records show that Dick Sargent was 1/2 inch taller than Dick York but their is scarce evidence of which Darrin weighed more. Experts from MIT have used a new spectral analysis system on the episodes to determine by light wavelength which Dick was larger. You'll have to go to the lecture to find out, we're not going to let the cat out of the bag!

Where are They Now? - Well, actually they're mostly dead now except for the two Tabitha's so that's really all this event concerns. What are they doing now!!! Porn stars, models, or analysts for medical device firms in Santa Barbara? The answers may surprise and disappoint many or you, especially those who spend a lot of time in your basements wondering about such things.

Calling Dr. Bombay!!!, Physician or Fraud - Just what kind of doctor was Dr. Bombay? He claimed to be a witch doctor but was a complete failure when practicing his art. He did like to get his freak on though, we'll have to give him that.

Please visit our sponsors: Bombay Gin, Clara-tin, and Cialis

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