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Monday, August 07, 2006

******Breaking News******

Apparently there is breaking news from Cuba (pronounced COOOBERRR) concerning Fidel Castro and his medical situation. We take you now to Havana where government spokesman Hector “Havana Bob” Chuppacabra is giving a press conference.

Reporter: Hector, Rob Flauta - Kommunist Peoples Daily, is Papa Fidel even healthier now than he was before entering the Peoples Medical Center?

Havana Bob: Si Rob, thanks you for this totally unplanned question which you have asked. In fact, El Presidente is five times healthier than when he entered the hospital and will probably actually outlive all of us. Yes, over here.

Reporter: Déjà Vu – Kommisar Follies and Tiger Beat, what is Fidel’s favorite color and then I have a follow-up question?

Havana Bob: This is a very tough question and one that I have put to El Presidente many, many times. I think if he were here he would probably say olive drab. You had a follow-up?

Reporter: Briefs or boxers?

Havana Bob: El President goes Commando, it does get very hot down here. Yes, here.

Reporter: Eduardo Quaxakjdial - Oaxacoatiolan Picayune, is there any truth to the rumor that Raul Castro has been used to give his brother a total organ transplant and his corpse disposed of in el Bahía de Cochinos?

Havana Bob: This is the typical propaganda spewed by the American Press. Who told you that, Ann Coulter?

Reporter: (hanging head) Si.

Havana Bob: Have you learned your lesson?

Reporter: Si.

Havana Bob: And you won’t try any more silly thinking?

Reporter: No.

Havana Bob: No more questions please, we have heard that El Presidente is leaving the hospital at this moment and we have television cameras there at the moment.

Play video

Havana Bob: This is a capitalist trick all cameras will be seized immediately.

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