It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Friday, August 04, 2006

I will find you, my Precious!!!!!!

I was sitting in my office enjoying a tray of MayonnaICE when I was struck by an enlightenment of such power and magnitude it caused me to drop the salty confection on the already stained berber. What was the illumination that caused my faux paux? I don’t have a strange obsession with either an obscure celebrity or a sport where the players cannot generally use their hands to touch the ball. My comrades here at the Dictionary have made a cottage industry of posts on the eccentric goings-on and exploits of deceased actors and the self –dubbed “beautiful game”. Where is my beautiful game?

As some of you may be aware I have been faced with a bout of writer’s block in the last few months that will not seem to be broken. It’s not due to a shortage of material as Tom Cruise, William Shatner, crazed Japanese scientists, dwarven KISS impersonators, and Puffy AmiYumi groupies still all exist as they draw their plans for world domination. No, my problems stem from a much noted condition suffered by millions: life. I have been told by qualified individuals that there is nothing I can do about the condition so I will strive to make the best of it. But, do not cry for me Argentina; or Equador, French Guiana, Chile, and Suriname for that matter. I have decided to go out and search for my Mark Northover, my Football (soccer), my “BEAUTIFUL GAME”.

Now comes the problem, or as we say in the business… conflict. Where will I find the person or game of my obsession, and will anyone care? The last part will certainly take care of itself so I set out on this day to discover new horizons. I will scour the landscape, not to mention IMDB.com and sports related websites, as a Puffy AmiYumi groupie chases a pair of vinyl slacks worn by the J-pop group at ROCK ROCK KON-NICHIWA! Not that I would know anything about that sort of thing.

You will be the first to know of the results my children.

(No, not about the pants!!!)

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