Grammys? What Grammys??

Someone mentioned to me that the other day the Dixie Chicks won 5 Grammys for their album We Want to Shoot George W. Bush with a Bazooka, but I had better things to do ...the BAFTAs were on.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the BAFTAs, they are the British equivalent of the Oscars. So, it's sort of like the Bloggies, only with production values and attractive presenters ...and actual trophies. The BAFTA award itself is in the shape of a mask. This is so you can cover your face with it as protection against the venomous British tabloid press as you leave the Royal Opera House, where the awards are held. The mask/trophy is also made of metal, which comes in handy if you know the British tabloid press.

This year, the BAFTAs were also advertised as "The Daniel Craig Love-In Programme." We know this becuase Daniel appeared on the programme, usually sitting in the audience, more often that the BAFTA award itself did.

For those of living in the U.S. this means watching tape delayed on the Beeb America. Jonathan "Wossy" Ross hosted this year. I'm not sure why Ross was hosting but the best I can figure is that perennial host Stephen Fry was in some kind of coma.

Woss ...excuse me, Ross, is a popular but occasionally controversial figure in British television. Aloing with Barbara Walters, he is probably the only major presenter in world television with a speech impediment, at least now that Dan Rather and his nervous verbal tic are off the air.

Wikipedia explains that this impediment is a "Rhotacism" but also contends that it might just be because he's from the South West of England. The practical result is that Wossy sounds like the British Elmer Fudd, but in fairness, he's almost as funny.

I can't actually remember who won the awards that night, as I dozed off after about 40 minutes. The Last King of Scotland, a film about Idi Amin, won for best British picture, if I remember correctly, and Forrest Whitaker, who is about as British as Idi Amin (but much, much, much nicer) won a well deserved Best Actor award. Also, Helen Mirren won for Best Actress for her portrayal of HM Queen Elizabeth II in the oddly titled The Queen, which most commentators mistakenly thought was yet another Truman Capote biopic.

The most interesting thing about the awards this year was how many people weren't present to pick theirs up. I've long had a theory about such situations. These things should be like contests at shops or on the wireless. If the person who wins isn't there, you go ahead and give it to the next person in order who shows up. If all five can't make it, throw it into the audience and let them fight for it.

I certainly hope they put this into practise next year, instead of the suggestion one unnamed producer made, which is to just give them to Daniel Craig. He's Bond, not Olivier, mate.