That's quite a toilet you have there!

For those who's WC tastes run from gaudy to lavish to "just what the hell are you doing in there," Roto-Rooter plans to give away an expensive new toilet to the winner of a sweepstakes contest.

The toilet contains numerous gadgets, including a drink and snack-filled fridge, an XBox, an IPod, an exercise cycling machine, and soild-gold toilet paper. All right, that last one was only an optional feature.

Rumor has it that the toliet was designed by Tim Allen for a lost episode of Home Improvement.

Putting aside the very obvious question of who in their right mind would eat snacks stored in a loo (chocolates are not recommended for obvious reasons involving confusion), there is a clear philosophical mindset behind the prize.

"...A toilet should be the most wonderful location in your home," said Roto-Rooter vice-president for marketing Steven Pollyea, in-between physical threapy sessions to treat his bum for poor circulation and psychiatric counselling.

The name of this brobdingnagian brummagem behemoth basin? The "Pimped-Out John."

Next for Roto-Rooter, a European sweepstakes for the "Brazen Bidet." (Comes with espresso machine, cheese tray - no jokes, and teapot)

These things just write themselves, don't they?