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Monday, January 29, 2007

Remembering Everything

According to this article from March of 2006, there is a woman who can remember everything she has ever experienced, down to the specific date and detail. Apparently, she makes a living as a professional Trivial Pursuit player.

While this second fact is not actually true, it is what I'd do if I had the freakish ability to remember every little thing. What else could it be good for, except perhaps as a really snotty academician's party trick.

"Ah, I'm afraid you're dead wrong there Professor Wallaby. The Breton War of Succession wasn't started in 1342, it was actually started in 1341 when Edward III attempted to lay claim to the French throne. I should also point out that you totally misrepresented Castillian naval strategy at the Battle of La Rochelle during cocktails."

"I see. Of course, you know Smithson that this is the exact reason I'll be voting against granting you tenure, you pompous twerp."

Still, I suppose the lady in question never loses her car keys or has to write down a phone number, so there would be some advantages. Still, it takes some of the mystery out of life doesn't it? Questions like, "What was that mysterious young lady's name at that party?" or "Did I remember to put the car in park?" would be simply categorized away as concrete and easily accessible knowledge, "Maude" and "No, which explains why the car is in the sitting room," being the answers.

Excuses would be impossible also, so you'd have to be brutally honest: "No, of course I didn't forget your birthday. I can't you see. I simply ignored it because I didn't want to waste two hours of my life with such a mirthless git, seeing as I'd remember every excrutiating detail."

All in all, it wouldn't be a basket of roses now, would it?


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