It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Signature of Health

We interrupt this blog to bring you breaking news. According to Venezuelan dictator Hugo (pronounced HOOOO GO) Chavez, Fidel Castro is "almost jogging" only days after reports of his impending death were announced. We now go to a press conference being held by El Presidente Chavez.

Chavez: Yes he indeed is almost jogging and according to his brother Raul is thinking of taking up mountain biking and wind surfing.

Reporter: There are not a lot of good mountain biking areas in Cuba. Where would he do it?

Chavez: He would do it on his ranch after taking care of various tasks such as mending fences, milking the bulls, and taking care of chickens.

Reporter: How can you be sure that Fidel is in such good shape, have you seen him?

Chavez: No, not recently but just look at the signature on this document. Wow, zowie zow what a very strong and masculine and healthy signature, don't you think. Just look.

Reporter: But how do you know it was Castro that signed the documents?

Chavez: Well if you would like you can go backstage with these gentlemen and they'll give you a very close look at it.

Reporter: Uh, my goodness you are right what a healthy looking signature and it's definitely Fidel's. I can see that now, the light was bad a minute ago, but you're right on.

Chavez: I thought so. I'll be showing you a thumb-print tomorrow which will show beyond a doubt that Fidel will live to be at least 206 years old.

Please stay tuned for further developments.

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