You mess with Harpo Marx, you get the horns.

Monday, January 22, 2007

The Happiest Man in the World...after Brad Pitt we mean.

Scientists at the French Association for Random Thought have found a person they believe to be the "happiest person in the world". The reseachers at F.A.R.T. have studied the brain of Matthieu Ricard and determined through MRI's that he is one happy little camper. What is the reason behind the research? According to the article we can all be happier if we just do some meditation, transforming our sad right brain thoughts into happy left brain thoughts. Let's all try that for just a minute why don't we. Wow, I feel better already.

I decided to sit down with Monsieur Ricard for a little face to face concerning his ideas on meditation and to see if he was a happy as he was made out to be. Not that I don't believe the fine researchers over at F.A.R.T. but they're also the ones that told us Jayson Blair had it right when he was at the N.Y. Times.

Stew: Mr. Ricard it's nice to be able to sit down with you today. How are you feeling?

Ricard: Oh Stew, I'm as happy as a lark.

Stew: Good. Please tell me about your happiness and your meditation techniques.

Ricard: Well, it all began a few years ago when I was visiting my cousin in Nice. I became very interested in the study of meditation and its effect on my happiness. I found that if I thought about it hard enough, I could actually make myself be happy.

Stew: Interesting, what would you think about?

Ricard: I would generally think about the types of things that made me happy; food, sex, and music that made me feel a sense of euphoria. The more I meditated on these things the greater the feelings of happiness I enjoyed.

Stew: So you were able to concentrate on these things and develop a sense of happiness.

Ricard: Yes, those eggheads down at F.A.R.T. see it as an inhibition of right frontal lobe activity and an increase in left frontal lobe activity, but I just call it being mellow. Do you have a glass of water?

Stew: Of course, we can get you some water.

Ricard: Thanks, that's another thing I can thank my cousin for, seems he's a part-time chemist and gave me some of these pills for the headaches I used to have all the time. (shows some little green pills)

Stew: Uh, you know I think those are amphetamines.

Ricard: No, I think they call them migraines. Whatever they were I'm free of them now.

Stew: I mean the pills, I think those are drugs that cause you to feel the euphoria.

Ricard: What?

Stew: (sigh) Pep pills. (blank look from Ricard) Rippers, Smurfs, Speed, Whiz, or Fly Boys, whatever the name I think you've been taking uppers and getting the pychotropic effects.

Ricard: Then I take it these aren't cigarettes. (shows a small handrolled joint)

Stew: Cannabis.

Ricard: So, I'm really just an inadvertent druggie?

Stew: That'll certainly take the wind out of the guys at F.A.R.T. when you break it to them.

Ricard: What will my mom say?

Stew: Tell her you got some bad advice.

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