It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Harry Potter and the Order of the Multiplex


Well, the latest Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, is out around the world and with the final installment of J.K. Rowling's popular septology due for release in just over a week, people around the world are potty for Potter. Also, the Banks of England and Scotland are mobilising several thousand people, just to handle the cashflow from the film. Several physicists are worried that the flow of money from the film and book combined could create a black hole in the vicinity of Edinburgh (Rowling's home).

Of course every film is going to be somewhat different from the book. Therefore, (Spoiler's Alert1) in order that our readers not be completely taken unawares by Hollywood's version of Rowling's literary magic, here are some of the biggest surprises from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:


  • Much of the film takes place in Arizona

  • Hermione is over 9 feet tall. Apparently, someone at Industrial Light and Magic got her scenes crossed with Hagrid's

  • Dumbledore is played by Rosie O'Donnell

  • Constant, golf ball-sized hailstorm in the Great Hall

  • Excessive flatulence noises by the Foley Artists (we presume)

  • Toronto stands in for Hogwarts (The CN Tower is now Griffindor Tower)

  • Snape sounds just like Jonathan Ross

  • Large McDonald's sign in Hogwarts courtyard

  • Peculiar side trip to Roswell, N.M.

  • Quidditch is replaced with the Ultimate Fighting Championship

  • Surprise nude scene from Dan Racliffe's performance in Equus2 included - The screenwriter uses it as an excuse for many "wand" jokes3

  • The Hogwarts students play YahtzeeTM instead of Exploding Snap and Wizard's Chess. However, when you get "Yahtzee," the dice do explode.

  • Ron's sudden, violent case of dysentery

  • William Shatner cameo4

  • Everyone dies except for Winky

1. At least for the extremely gullible
2. Or as people in the Harry Potter fandom call it "Harry Potter and the Order of the Penis"5
3. As do the writers of this blog
4. There's a David Beckham cameo, also, but that's hardly a surprise these days.
5. Yes, this may be the first and hopefully last use of the word "penis" on this blog... and also the first time we've footnoted a footnote. Can we do that?

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