Ground Control to Major Madonna

Evidence that the Material Girl may be thinking about joining the U. S. space program sometime soon.

Come to think of it, this is news that may allow NASA to eventually promote a scheme to fund itself. Never mind that current space travel would have to account for several hundred to thousand years for such missions to pay off. If people were rational about this sort of thing, we wouldn't have had events like the California Gold Rush. Plus, they'd just have to get it by Congress, so it's not like they'll get a bunch of scientifically relevant questions.

NASA Scientist: "Well Representatives Pelosi and DeLay, it's going to take a very long time to reach these planets."

Rep. Pelosi: "I don't care how many weeks it takes! I ... I mean, the people of America, need those diamonds now! What cut do those come in?"

Rep. DeLay: "I must confess I agree for once with my colleague from Massachusetts . I have heard rumors that the Red Chinese are planning a manned mission to these diamond planets. Gentlemen, I suggest we have a diamond gap!"