It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Wiki! Wiki! Waaaaah!

Wiki? Are you tawking about Wiki Wikardo, you wascawwy wabbit?

-Elmer Fudd's impersonation of Lucille Ball

(Note: In the original post I wrote "Elmer Fudd doing Lucille Ball". You'd have no idea how many people misinterpreted that.)

Actually I'm sure many people, prior to Stew's enlightening and paranoid posts, thought that Wiki (from the Hawaiian wiki wiki, which means "hurry, hurry" and strangely enough also means "pass the salsa") was that hula dance with the quick, spine-damaging hip movements. That dance is actually called the "Tahitian", demonstrating that either Hawaiians are more laid back than the denizens of Tahiti, or are more prone to spinal and hip injuries.

Wiki has many other possible meanings, not all of which can be divulged on a site not wanting to even come close to FCC investigation for indecent content. However, as I'm in a listing mood this week, a short list of these possiblities follows:

Possible definitions of the word "wiki" by Earl Fando (Lexiconographicus Amateuris):

  • A really tiny candle wick.
  • "burlap"
  • the word "weekly" as pronounced by Yoko Ono
  • "shiny"
  • Lucille Ball's buttocks
  • Shingles
  • The nickname of the Des Moines franchise in the Continental Basketball Association (The Des Moines Wikis)
  • A cocktail featuring 4 oz. of grain alcohol mixed with 1 oz. of anything else, including air
  • The heretofore undiscovered 10th planet of our solar system
  • Code word for the men in black presently chasing Stew across the Midwestern United States. (They'll never catch him. He's driving his authentic Partridge Family edition schoolbus. That thing is like a Mondrian designed tank.)

I'll have to stop here as there's a knock at the door. Is that rotor blades I hear?

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