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Thursday, May 05, 2005

So long suckers! I mean that in a loving way.

This will in all likelihood be my final post...(shouts of joy) for a week (groans of disappointment). Yes, it is vacation time for the Miller family. Who they are I'm not sure, however, I will be taking the wife and kids to Disney World tomorrow for a week of mindless mousery. Ah the joys of the family vacation at Disney World; the swealtering humidity, the extraordinarily long waits in line, and the inevitablility of paying $8 for a hamburger and bag of chips. But hey, somebody's got to pay for Walt's body to remain cryogenically frozen so that one day he can be brought back from the dead (or is that a urban legend, (note to self, check out Snopes)). Anyway, before I depart I thought I would leave you with:

The Top Ten Ways to Get Thrown Out of Disney World.

10. Set large rat traps around Cinderella's Castle and hide in the bushes muttering, "I'm going to get that sucker this time."

9. Keep asking Disney employees, "Which way to Neverland Ranch?".

8. Set up squatters tent at Epcot and start washing your clothes in the fountain. When asked what you are doing just keep saying, "Rose a' Sharon needs milk!!".

7. On Jungle Cruise, run to the front of the boat, spread your arms and say, "Whoo hoo I'm king of the world, Disney World!"

6. Keep trying to bribe your way to the front of the line at Space Mountain by offering everyone 300 Quatloos.

5. Go to ticket area and set up stand selling tours of Walt Disney's frozen body.

4. Keep asking Monorail operators if they can drop you off at Orlando airport.

3. When getting autographs from Chip and Dale keep trying to stuff dollar bills in their pockets and say "shake that moneymaker" while emitting low moans.

2. Wear elaborate scuba-diving suit on Splash Mountain, tell everyone around you, "Good luck suckers."

and the number one way of getting thrown out of Disney World:

-Keep telling employees, "Universal's way better dude."


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