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Sunday, June 05, 2005

High Tech firm does Pop Music Analysis

Savage Beast Technologies, named after their founder Morty, is doing a highly sophisticated analysis of popular music. Reportedly, the analysis consists of lots of youngish people, sitting around and listening to a bunch of popular music, taking notes, and then feeding all the information into a computer system that analyzes and links similar features. The results? Heretofore unknown links between U2 and Richard Marx (the mullet syndrome) and between Joe Cocker and Madonna (the intangible syndrome).

After such findings, the company will be changing its name to Big Crock of Crap Music Analysis Technologies and is being bought by Bill Gates, who will try to get a Micorsoft Home Entertainment CD-ROM out of the enterprise before dismantling the firm and selling off its employees to Red China as indigent labourers.

In a related story, the firm has stated that, based on its research, it can now list popular music into 4 categories: Utter Crap, Pretentious Crap, Pure Crap, and Beatles-Beach Boys-U2.


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