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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

All smurf breaks loose in Smurfland!!!!!!!!

When I smurfed the article referred to by Earl in his last smurf I was taken a-smurf. It had only been last Wednesday that I had spoken to Smurfette concerning a misunderstanding at last month’s Emmy Awards concerning a remark I made about the Blue Man Group. I made a few calls to some friends over at Hanna-Barbera and learned that Strawberry Shortcake had been dispatched to the scene by their news service. I was able to hook up with her via satellite phone from the war-zone.

Stew: Strawberry how are things going over there?

SS: Well Stew, it’s pandemonium over here currently. The marines have just arrived and are mopping up the last of the little blue hellions.

Stew: But Straw, I thought you were a big fan of the The Smurfs?

SS: To be honest the little bastards have been driving me crazy the last few years. I would just as soon we let Azrael loose on their little asses.

Stew: I’m shocked at you Strawberry Shortcake, where is the spunky little girl with enough optimism to fill a strawberry patch?

SS: Stuff it Stew! I’m a war correspondent now. Today the Smurfs, tomorrow the Banana Splits. You tell the Banana Splits that I’m coming, and hell’s coming with me!!!

Stew: But a war correspondent covers the war, they don’t participate in it.

SS: Tell that to Snagglepuss, let’s just say he “exited stage left”. Of course he had some help from my little friend here. (sounds of machine gun fire)

Stew: Strawberry, have you seen Papa Smurf or Smurfette, I’m very worried about them?

SS: I think Papa Smurf got taken out when Kofi Annan dropped a Daisy Cutter on his ‘shroom. Last I saw of Smurfette some UN peacekeepers were taking her away so I’m sure she’s safe.

I had to cut her off there as she is acting very un-Strawberry Shortcake-like and may be psychologically imbalanced. If any of you see a M-16 toting, two-foot tall redhead walking down your street, please beware. Also watch out for roving bands of oh-so-lovable Care Bears bent on world domination.

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