You mess with Harpo Marx, you get the horns.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

This gives a new meaning to the term "collateral damage"

The U.S. Government has developed a new laser rifle that can temporarily "dazzle" individuals, such as people trying to run roadblocks and checkpoints, according to NewScientist.Com.

The weapon was designed as a response to U.N. prohibitions against lasers that permanently blind enemy personnel, codified in the aptly named U.N. "Protocol on Blinding Laser Weapons."

One downside: While research has indicated that the weapon will not do permanent damage to an individual's eyesight, field tests reported an extremely high number of auto-related fatalities caused by the weapon, primarily consisting of targets driving off of cliffs, into houses, walls, cows, horses, sheep, large ducks, at least one bulldozer, a roadside frankfurter stand, a giant tarantula, corn fields, wheat fields, Football fields, A Mrs. Fields Cookie Store, and most commonly over or through the individuals wielding the weapon.

Well, you can't have everything now can you?

Hat Tip: Jonah Goldberg

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