You mess with Harpo Marx, you get the horns.

Monday, November 07, 2005

I'd like a little place in the Fra Mauro Highlands.

A Chinese company going by the name Beijing Lunar Village Aeronautics Science and Technology Co. has been shutdown by the government for selling land on the moon. They say a sucker is born every minute and in this case we know where at least 34 of them are. Selling land on the moon would seem a very underhanded thing to do but it does show that a free enterprise spirit is alive and well all over the world. I did a massive search of the international yellow pages and discovered that there are numerous go-getters out there fleecing the masses.

  • In Holland you can still book a ticket on the Titanic for only $12 from The Dutch Fleece Indies Company. The ticket comes with a free pedicure on the Lido deck and drinks with Gopher, Doc, and Leonard DiCaprio.
  • In Luxembourg you can buy share of a company called LPS Inc. that claims to be developing a substitute for gasoline called "grassoline". Hmmmm, sounds mighty peculiar! I think these people might be infringing on the patent my friend Lucas P. Short was... wait a minute.
  • In Bahrain you can buy a celestial body and name it after someone. Now, I'd like to know who would be dumb enough to do that?
  • In Somolia you can buy a stake in Lindsey Lohan's next movie "Teddy Kennedy: Fully Loaded" in which she plays Mary Jo Kopechne. The movie is based on a true story that finds Teddy driving Mary Jo home in a VW Beetle that grows magical pontoons when it hits the water. Produced by Harry and Linda Bloodworth-Thomason.
  • In Belize they are taking bets on the sanity of famous personalities like Tom Cruise, Madonna, and Charo. I actually made a little bread on their "Tom Cruise jumps on Oprah's couch" board a few months ago. I'm thinking about putting a sawbuck on the "Charo goes postal at Denny's" board.
  • In Vanuatu you can buy tickets on Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic's first suborbital flight in 2007. This is especially interesting because you can also buy a small urn to place your ashes in upon your return to earth.
  • In Bhutan you can purchase a penthouse in Atlantis with our old buddy Sasquatch as your very own majordomo. (We suggest you buy a lot of Febreez, not that the old fella smells but because it really is a wonder-product.)

But if you're stuck on owning a little plot on our favorite satellite, just click here now.

Update: Sorry, looks like we're all too late to get in on the deal. From the website:

Each deed of Lunar Property is unique and no acre of land can be sold twice. Sending the registration card back insures that the property holder is listed on file with the database for all landowners. In Feb 2004, the Trailblazer, a TransOrbital mission to the Moon, will deposit the names of the property holders listed in the database, on the actual Lunar surface.

Drat!!!! Everyone remember the famous "TransOrbital" Trailblazer mission? Seems like just last year doesn't it.

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