It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Briefs (No, I'm not describing what I'm wearing)

A few quick items to start the day off:

1. Yes, the posts yesterday (mine, not Stew's) were rather serious and we do try to avoid that. Still, some things and persons just need a bit a ridicule to point out that they are engaging in complete and selfish nonsense. It's what we do.

2. The latest on the squirrel front is that the squirrels are planning a massive strike at doghouses in the suburban United States and Britain, because, as an intercepted squirrel transmission put it, "We don't like the doggies and will gnaw on their haunches until they whine."

It's not a coherent strategy, but what do you expect from squirrels.

3. Eminem is getting back together with his wife. Stop the presses! Put off that press conference Mr. President and Mr. Prime Minister, because we need to acknowledge that Marshall Mathers is hooking back up with Mrs. Mathers!

Listen, I'm as happy as anyone to hear good news about a marriage, but when will the press realize that the personal lives of celebrities is only news because the media assumes that the public are obsessive, intrusive, nasty, voyeuristic little vultures, just like them. Valerie Bertinelli and EddieVan Halen are divorcing? Sad, but not really pertinent compared to the real news. Nick and Jessica? Is it possible to care so little that it can be measured in negative numbers?

4. The correct spelling of "A-Ha!" is "Aaaaaaa-Ha!!!!!", which is exactly what one member of a typical Hollywood broken couple says to the other member of that broken couple when they find out that member has been on a dirty weekend with yet another member of a Hollywood couple which will soon be broken when the news reaches the tabloid who hid a reporter for 72 hours in the garbage can of the first member of the broken Hollywood couple.

As for the band "A-Ha!", I thought they were all killed when they accidentally mixed Pop Rocks with Coca-Cola whilst standing on the edge of a rather high fjord? Glad to hear it was just a rumour.

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