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Friday, February 17, 2006

Stew's Slant on Cinema!

(low voice) Sorry, tonight I'm coming to you from the local movie theater where I've brought my cell phone to give you an on-the-scene review of When a Stanger Calls, the remake of the film of the same title from 1979. I made this recording to my home answering machine so I could transcribe it later.

SSSSHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Sorry, I'll keep it down. Anyway the movie is pretty boring to those who saw the original (BEEP) I've got another call (CLICK) Hello.

I know you're alone.

I'm actually sitting with a bunch of people...

Oh sorry, wrong number.

That was weird. Like I was saying after that first sequence is over it just becomes a slasher (BEEP), I'll be right back. (Click) Hello.

Have you checked the children.

What are you talking about, I'm sitting in a movie theater watching When a Stranger Calls.

Is this Jill Thompson?

No, Stew Miller.

(Click)

This is really starting to freak me out. (Beep) Yes, who are you? What do you want from me!?!?!?!?

Stew, this is your mom.

Oh, hi Mom, sorry some nut keeps calling me...

SSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!

Sorry, it's my mom. Anyhow, what do you want?

Honey, have you checked the children lately?

I'll check them when I get home Mom, thanks, now good-bye. Hmmm, that's odd she usually calls on Sunday nights when the rates are lower. (Beep) Hello.

Have you chec...

cked the children lately, I know, I know. That's it, I've had enough. The movie gets no stars from me, I hope your happy.

(MMS message) I wnt ur bld on me.

Oh great, now the freak is sending me instant messages.

(MMS message) Oh, grow up. This was scary in 1979. Next thing you'll tell me is that you're "inside" the theater.



(MMS message) I am .

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

SSSSHHHH... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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