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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Give me a six pack of the Chateau Mouton Rothschild!

France, the country of bad body odor and fine wines, is in a tizzy as I post due to the possibility of some wineries going to screw tops instead of corks. I am not a wine connoisseur by any stretch of the imagination; as a matter of a fact some of the finer screw top wines haunt my distant past, but I can understand the reticence that the higher class wino may have when he finds a screw top Bordeaux at his local wine shoppe. We can all imagine the poor bastard bending his favorite corkscrew on a cap and crying into his cuve reserve while writing a scathing letter to the Appelation Contrôlée .

Being a forward thinking business person myself, I can see where the industry may want to use new, innovative, and alternative methods to get their hooch to the masses. Here are some examples of placement and delivery methods I think they might want to know about.

Dom in the Box - For those who love their Dom Perignon we present the juice boxed alternative for those on the go. Now fortified with 100% of your daily allowance of vitamin C, you can take your Mimosa's in the car.

Mmmmm, frothy goodness with our new chocolate wine in a carton. Now, we just need to start making square wine racks.

The "cold one" indeed, enjoy this fine Italian wine while watching the game or fishing in your new Cabela's bass boat. Goda molto i pescatori!!!!!

From the finer jugged wines of France come these delicate, fruity Burgundys. Now with collectible "Presidents of France" bottle stoppers. "I'll trade you three Georges Pompidous for a François Mitterrand."

For only 75 cents a can you can enjoy the finest wines at your office or on your bench in the park. Easy access for the discerning wino.

Coming soon to a fast food restaurant near you. Grab a burger and a flute of the one of our finer vintages.

A local wine tasting clubs expert sommeliers. "Billy Joe, what'd you think of that new Bordeaux?" "Hoooweee, I didn't much care for the nose, but it sure persisted on the palate. Give me another can and another plate of beans."


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