It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Oscars, Oscars, Oscars

More celebrities weigh in on the upcoming DOUI live blog:

Russell Crowe - "I'm go to throw my cell phone at them in protest."

Dave Chappelle - "I'll be watching to see what these guys write and you can sign that in stone. When have I ever gone back on my word?"

Isaac Mizrahi - "They're so cute I could just pinch those little cheeks, and I don't mean the ones you can see darling. We are talking about Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, right?"

Tim Allen - "Those guys are the greatest. Oh, by the way be sure and see me in the remake of Disney's The Shaggy Dog coming soon to a theater near you. OK, I admit it, I'm desperate for the money."

Nick Lachey - "Yeah, that's great. Hey, they got any jobs over there at DOUI?"

George Clooney (nominee) - "I love it when they question my patriotism and call me a traitor. I love it like a big ole ham sandwich on rye that I stuff my mouth with and down with a RC Cola. We are talking about Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal, right?"

David Letterman - "Uma, Oprah. Oprah, Uma. Oh man, that never gets old does it."

Paula Abdul - "I just absholuly *hick* think thosh guys are the gre *hick* test. I love the way they shing and do the spinny fliva distic. giggling uncontollably Make it your *hick* own you sicko fasbilters, got to zit down now."

Dick Cheney - "I've got a little something for those boys. The first time I hear a Brokeback Mountain joke that disparages my home state of Wyoming we might just have a little hunting accident."

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