The classics never get old.

"Comedy is not pretty." Those words spoken by Steve Martin those many years ago ring true to this day. Even though he was talking about something entirely different and they were said in a way that evoked actually laughter, they did come back to me today. When reading through the internet news stories looking for material it is hard to feel funny when so much of it is death, destruction, natural disasters, and Tom Cruise. Well wait, that last one does usually make me feel funny, kind of like having gloves made out of spam or underwear filled with raspberry jello. The rest of it, however, is pretty darn depressing.

It's times like these that I like to call my old friend Lukas P. Short and just get a dose of his bucolic wisdom. After reading the news today I gave old Luke a call to see if I could get his take on what's going on out there in the real world.

Luke: Howdy, Short residence, Lukas speakin'.

Stew: Hey Luke, it's Stew how are you doing today?

Luke: Well doggies boy, I'm doin' fine, how's things out there in your neck of the woods?

Stew: Great, I hope you don't mind but I'd like to run some of the news by you and see what you think.

Luke: Now don't you fret son, I'm always here for you.

Stew: Well I guess the big story is Hu's trip to the White House today.

Luke: Well let me see, no can't rightly say that I know. Who is it?

Stew: Luke you don't understand, Hu's the president of China.

Luke: Hmmmm, I know it used to be a guy called Mao.

Stew: Who?

Luke: The president of China, that's who?

Stew: Yes, that's Hu.

Luke: Stew, you're not making fun of me now?

Stew: No, you got it right.

Luke: What?

Stew: The president of China.

Luke: Mao?

Stew: No, first was Mao then there was Deng?

Luke: Dung? Who's Dung?

Stew: No, Hu's Hu, Deng's Deng.

Luke: The president of China?

Both together: Third base!!!!!!!!

After the call I felt a little headachey so I think I'll go back to making Tom Cruise jokes.