TGIF-Fridays (Thetans Get In Free on Fridays)

Word of the birth of young Suri Holmes-Cruise is flying around the world via the airwaves, high-speed fiber optic cables, satellite transmission, and Thetan brainwaves. A little slower to make the rounds is word of Tom and Katie's new restaurant chain dedicated to helping us all bond with our children in a quiet and relaxing environment.

The restaurants will serve a varied menu based on the concept of western fusion cuisine mainly featuring placenta. There will be complete silence, aside from the occasional retching, and there will be special stations available for those who wish to disgorge. Reservations will be accepted based on your Operating Thetan levels so it is recommended that you audit yourself at regular intervals.

Below is a menu sampling

Placenta Parmesan - A bed of fucilli pasta with lots of thick red sauce... oh, and a big lump of afterbirth with pine nuts and basil. Dig in!!!!!!!!!

Artichoke stuffed Placenta - Delicate artichokes cooked to perfection infuse the placenta and make your taste buds tingle. Wait a minute... (small gagging sounds) Hold it in man. Choke it down (if you can).

Polenta and Placenta - We mix a wonderfully gritty polenta and lightly baked placenta into a taste combination we know you'll enjoy. Bon Appetite!!!!!!!!

Placenta Scaloppine - Sauteed placenta with mushrooms, capers, and smoked prosciutto in a lemon butter sauce...excuse me (sounds of enormous vomiting, copious amounts which soon crescendo into a volume that the human mind cannot grasp) There, I'm better. Enjoy with a nice Chianti!!!!!

Boursin Filet - Center cut tenderloin cooked to order and topped with a creamy pepper Boursin cheese. (Side of placenta upon request)

So, get down to TGIF-Fridays as soon as one opens near you. Don't forget to try their convenient vomitoriums.