It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Monday, June 11, 2007

So, how's the Coup going you ask?

The Coup continues at DOUI. Jorge Carlito has already been bullied into submission. I suppose one could assume that he lived once in a Latin-American dictatorship and that this sort of thing is right up his street. However, I always thought he was from Barstow.

Stew and Nuffy are either cowed into silence or defiantly refusing to post in protest. I'm not sure which, since neither of them have made a peep in months. So, since insulting pictures and threats of a takeover haven't awoken their posting sensibilities, I must move on and stabilise the new regime.

Right now, I'm contemplating several changes I could make. Here's a short list. Readers should feel free to e-mail preferences or suggestions. I should note that "closing down the blog and turning the staff into eunuchs" is not an option, no matter how popular it might be with the usual blogging crowd.

Options for The Dictionary of Unfortunate Ideas Under the Glorious Leadership of Generalissimo Earl "El Hombre Magnifico Virile" Fando

  • Change the name of the blog to The Coup D'etat of Unfortunate Ideas
  • Change the logo to match the style of the London Olympics, just to cheese everyone off
  • Install a salad bar where Nuffy's desk used to be
  • Change the background image to a picture of the Emirates Stadium (Come on you Gooners!)
  • Even more Tom Cruise mocking
  • Change the name of the blog to The Dictionary of Unfortunate Earls
  • All traffic-ticket rants, all the time
  • Change the name of the blog to Stew and Nuffy Aren't Home Right Now, but If You'll Leave a Message at The Tone...
  • Offer posting rights to politicians and then alter their posts for comic effect
  • Include colourful sidebar pictures of firing squads
  • Replace Stew's office with a snooker and darts room
  • Change the logo to include a subliminal message that says "Send your pledges to earlfando@yahoo.com"
  • Change the name of the blog to Harry Potter Loves Cameron Diaz and watch the hits soar
  • Offer to imprison Paris Hilton in Nuffy and Stew's old offices
  • Hold next U.S. Republican and Democratic debates on the blog - Give Fred Thompson and Al Gore editing privileges to change posts for comic effect
  • Year long discussion about how easy it is to confuse The Sopranos with The Simpsons
  • Convert DOUI into a fitness site - lots of Thighmaster and Body Pump references

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