It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Prince Charles to wed again...

Well, Ole' Bat Ears, HRH Charles, Heir to the British Throne, Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, Earl of Fando, Thane of Caldor, Burl of Ives, has finally decided to take the plunge again. He has finally decided to make an honest woman out of Camilla Parker Bowles, whom the AP describes as "his lover". I imagine you reading the word in the same way I'm saying now...exactly like Mike Myers in the old Saturday Night Live sketch "Sprockets". Blimey, I'm ancient.

That's "Luv-ER" in a thick fake German accent, for those of you not familiar with the sketch.

By the way, for those of you too young to have heard the expression, when I say "make an honest woman out of her", I don't mean that he's going to break her of her shoplifting habit, if she even has one. He's marrying a member of the British aristocracy, not Wynona Ryder.

It is, however, still shocking to some that the potential head of the Church of England even has a LLLLUUVVV-ERRRR. (OK - I've got carried away and I apologise.) For some, that would be an automatic disqualifier for the throne. We're sort of back to the Middle Ages on this one though.

Back then, disreputable kings and church officials would find ways to hook up with their favorite romantic partners and if anyone had anything to say about it, they'd be the afternoon show at the Lord High Executioner's outdoor cabaret and market. Just ask Thomas More, if you can find his head that is.

I suppose some traditionalists should take solace in the fact that Charles can't run for Pope, but really the main technicality there is that he's not Catholic.

I don't begrudge Charles wanting to finally wed the woman he loves, but I do suspect that future royals will push at the boundaries a bit more. I can easily envision the headline "Heir to Throne Enters into 6 Way Domestic Partnership with Scissors Sisters" sometime in the near future. Of course that would probably start in some place like Holland or Denmark. Britain is still a little too old fashioned for that sort of thing. Even Henry VIII felt the need to marry women before divorcing and executing them.

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