The new TV show of the Jorge Carlito
I was considering to have a cooking show on the Food Network where I would demonstrate how to make the most delicious dishes of my homeland like Ojo de Vaca con Salsa de Junio, but I call to the food network to ask for a chance to do the audition and conversation with Food Network representative going something like this:
Rep -- Hello?
JCV -- Hello, this is Jorge Carlito Viejo, president and founder of Waste of Time Productions.
Rep -- Excuse me, what?
JCV -- Oh, uh, my name Jorge Carlito Viejo, president and founder of Waste of Time Productions.
Rep -- I'm sorry, sir, I don't know what any of that means. Who are you?
JCV -- I was interested to come down to Food Network for audition to have show where I cook the delicious dish of my homeland of example being Carne de Olor con Feos.
Rep -- Hmmm....nope, didn't understand a word of it.
JCV -- Okay, I speak the more slowly. I wanting to have show of cooking where I am prepare the delicious foods of my homeland in slow motion with close-up for the purpose of salivate the audience and make peoples to eating more food.
Rep -- (sigh) Was that the English language?
JCV -- Which what? Language, what?
Rep -- What?
JCV -- What you say just now before?
Rep -- No, I didn't understand you. What?
JCV -- No, I say the what first.
Rep -- What?
JCV -- The what?
Rep -- What is the what? What?
And on it go for two hour before phone line get mysteriously disconnected. So I will not have cooking show. I am planning now for next great Jorge Carlito Viejo adventure. Maybe amusement park called Crooked Clown Paradise with eight hundred clowns roaming around making balloons and knitting.