It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Monday, March 21, 2005

"Sexploration" or how low can MSNBC descend?

MSNBC has a recent addition to their website called (wait for it) Sexploration. One gets the feeling that they hired the old "adult film" movie writers, the same guys responsible for the old Times Square titles, to name the site for them (or maybe some ex-Fox programming executives.) I won't link to the site, so as not to encourage them any further, but here are some of the titles of the articles. As Dave Barry would say, I am not making this up:

  • Twisted or just kinky?
  • The swingin' set
  • Schools offer couples lessons in love

Note how they add the apostrophe and leave off the "g" in swinging, just to give it that hip, easy-going feel, the shameless bastards.

Now, some of you may feel that I'm being prudish and elitist, and that MSNBC is simply trying to offer a service for its readers who can't afford to subscribe to Penthouse. Others may simply argue that open discussion of sexuality is a part of modern Western culture and I should "loosen up my mojo" or something peculiar and vaguely euphemistic like that.

To both groups I heartly say, "Go suck an egg!" Nonetheless, I will, in the spirit of goodwill, offer up a couple of subject lines that MSNBC may feel free to use in the future, if they have the cojones.

  • NBC News - What really goes on underneath the anchor desk?
  • Brian Williams - Does he get Brokaw's groupies?
  • Get Connected baby and mean connected!
  • Keith Obermann's not just counting down - he's gettin' down!
  • Why they really call it Hardball (and why Chris Matthews is always shouting)
  • Today - A haven for swingers?
  • Can makeup and a teleprompter be considered foreplay?
  • Meat the Press - need we say more? (Just don't press the ...never mind)
  • Leather, ladies, and Lester
  • Dateline - it's all about the dates!
  • Katie Couric: Catwoman or Xena?
  • Sometimes a microphone is just a microphone...but other times!
  • MSNBC - We do everything on camera

and just to be on the safe side...

  • MSNBC lawyers - why they always satisfy their partners

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