It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Shark Attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did anyone see the commercials for the "Shark Attack" movie on CBS recently? The one where someone spots a shark in the water among a crowd of happy sun-bathing youths, all between the ages of 18 and 25 and in immaculate physical condition, particularly the ones in bikinis...and then everyone looks up and there are about 700 hundred shark fins in the water? Was this a parody? A comedy, with gut-wrenching gore (for CBS that is)?

It inspired the following haiku(s):

Bikini clad waif
Swimming in the tropical
Sea. Look out! A shark!

I see no shark there
She laughs, tossing back her her
hair, adjusts her strap

She is still laughing
When the shark eats her left leg
The one with the mole

The shark then has its
Second course, with Chianti
(Bad Hannibal joke)

She is gulped down like
Tuna chum, only prettier
And people scream loud

Everyone looks up
There are a million sharks out
There now. Freaky dude!

The fins are like hairs
in a razor commercial
The mass eating starts

Is that Jim Carrey?
No, just some third rate actor
chomped in half by sharks

Silly, silly film
Sharks do not congregate like
This...only bad filmmakers.

Now the people are
Going to strike back. We need
A million Robert Shaws.

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