It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Crazy Frog Ringtone Craze...Crazy?

A review of iwon.com popular searches reveals that in addition to Jessica Simpson, Russell Crowe, and (sadly) Michael Jackson, among the most popular searches is that of the "Crazy Frog Ringtone." What is it about this particular ringtone that makes people go absolutely gaga with amphibious delight? To find out, I arranged an interview with Mr. Crazy Frog himself.

Earl Fando: How did you get the name Crazy Frog?

Crazy Frog: It's my given name. My parents were very imaginative in their naming. If I had been a girl they were going to name me "Shaneequa", but I got that old Y chromosome, so I wound up "Crazy".

EF: So, are you actually crazy?

CF: Not in the least. I'm actually quite meek and reserved. In fact, I was voted most sane at my high school, Lilypad High, in the Everglades. Crazy frogs just don't last very long, what with the alligators and all. The crazy ones leap in the mouths of the gators, holler out to the babes, "Hey, look at me, I'm crazy!" Then, there's a flash of teeth and frog legs and we're left trying to find a new quarterback for the football team.

EF: Frogs play football?

CF: We're not very good I admit. It's difficult to throw the ball with your tongue. We always beat the Toads though.

EF: Oh, American football!

CF: (Sigh) Never mind.

EF: Anyway, what all the excitement about this ring tone we're hearing about.

CF: I'm not really sure. All I know is that the Cingular people showed up in the swamp one day asking various frogs to say different things into a tape recorder. They said they were looking for something new and exciting in the world of ringtones. Something to rival the Taco Bell Chihuahua, and the Budweiser Geckos.

EF: What did they have you say?

CF: It was stupid stuff. "Would someone please scratch my little green butt!" and "Would you like warts with that." The one they used though was, "I got your tongue right here, baby!"

EF: That does seem sort of a froggy thing to say.

CF: Yeah, except that I'm fairly short-tongued as frogs go. The other frogs didn't appreciate me getting so much credit in that area, especially since my nickname around these parts is "Stubby."

EF: Any other changes in your life since the ringtone came out?

CF: Well, a lot people think I'm French or something...the whole "frog" thing and the tongue. They don't seem to realize I'm an actual frog.

EF: I can see how someone might mistakenly jump to that conclusion, as silly as it is.

CF: Well, I've gotten at least three phone calls from a guy named Dominique deVillepin asking if I would do a special ringtone, just for him. Cingular gave me a phone as part of the deal. I didn't realize they were just passing the number out to anyone.

EF: What did he want you to say?

CF: "Allez-vous chercher des escargots la manière que je , bébé ?"

EF: What does that mean?

CF: I have no idea. I don't speak French. Something about snails I think. He said something about an aphrodisiac, or maybe bathing with them. He mentioned butter, I think. There wasn't a translator.

EF: So, what's next for Mr. Crazy Frog?

CF: Keep clear of spear fishermen, gators, and raptors. Spawn, if I get the chance. Try not to become roadkill. The usual frog crap.

EF: I see it's all glamour and champagne for you, then.

CF: I wish. At least Cingular has agreed to keep me in flies and beetles for the next year or two. I tried to get them to spring for a new lilypad, but all they'd agree to do is send that spokesman with the trenchcoat for a publicity visit. It didn't go well. He nearly stepped on the mayor and then kept muttering something about, "I could have gotten on Desperate Wives...why'd I stay with this gig?" He did give me the phone though.

EF: Well, thanks for chatting with me.

CF: Just mind the tadpoles on the way out...and tell people to lay off the frog legs. If they taste just like chicken, then eat chicken instead! Sheesh!

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