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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Bike for Health

Man, if there is one thing Juan Carlos Vega like to do after a whole day of sitting around on a couch eating papas fritas and watching Univision, it is to get my J-Lo style behind up off the couch and go outside for the invigorating exercise, and my favorite form of exercise is a nice bike ride through the ghetto. Yes, I dodge cardboard boxes and broken bottles, I swish around sharp corners and dodge rampaging crack addicts, I zig and zag through alleyways full of spent 9mm casings, and I break a thick and oily sweat as I power pedal through the piles of ash and cinders from the crystal meth factory that blew up. Man, this is how come I am so dang blasted how you going to say buffly hot to the Mrs. Juan Carlos and company. But it is not enough for me to just ride my bike through war zone-like neighborhoods of this fine city. No, I need to take it to the next level, for I am the how you going to say Juan Carlos Vega. That is why when I bike ride for health through poison-immune-super-rat-infested streets on the north side of town, I make sure to use a really ugly bicycle. Yes, that right. Thanks to Japanese smart persons, I am able to get healthy while ride a hideously absurdly ugly bicycle. Thank you, smart persons. My fourteen pack abs thank you, and so do the ladies.


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