It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

My new motto, "Don't let the P get in your way."

Earl, when I heard that Bo Diddley was still active on the music scene I was delighted, name change or not. I happened to love his…what’s that, sorry folks F. Johnny is trying to tell me something… P. Diddy? Not Diddley. Sorry folks I was confused by the consonant and have now read the entire article that Earl was alluding to. Sounds a bit full of himself concerning the P but I can understand that a man with a P in from of his name might get a little self-conscious.

Since I’m an expert in the naming of various celebrities and native Chinese mammals, I would be remiss if I didn’t help the poor man with a new moniker. Here follows the list that you all dread.

Crab Puffy (Martha would be proud)
Diddy P. (pronounced “Did he pee?”)
P. Ditty (I hear he’s musically inclined)
Puffin Daddy (would make him popular with the Eskimos)
Sean Combs (sorry, too original)
S. Combs
P.S. Combs
Honey-combs
Lulu Roman
(he can bring back the whole Hee-Haw genre)
Tone-Def
Beyond Beyonce

Well there it is in all of its glory, now if you’ll excuse me I see some boxes with my name on them. Actually they’re labeled so they DO have my name on them. Adios.

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