Earl's Holiday - Funnier Version

I'm just writing to announce that me, the Missus, and the Littlest Fando will be hitting the road for our annual world tour. This will consists of stops in Las Vegas, Reno, Branson, and Blackpool, which will be difficult to reach by car, as there isn't much in the way of Atlantic ferry choices.

Our vacation plans include an Elvis impersonators convention (We don't participate, we just watch and make fun), the International Boiled Peanut festival (Flatulence is optional here, so we'll just get some to go), The Jim Stafford Theatre (Jim will be setting a world record for successive performances of his only hit Spiders and Snakes, by singing it 3 times in a row), obsessive candyfloss consumption, bungy-jumping from Blackpool Tower, and a lengthy stop at my mum's in [this information redacted by the CIA and the Grand Imperial Fleet of Geldafar (prounounced Keiraknightley)].

If you're on the road this week and happen to spot a Toyota minivan painted in the colours of the Partridge Family bus, be sure to tell Shirley Jones we said hello.

Cheers (Said in a funny voice),

Earl