It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Novel Begins (along with the cold sweats)


Well, I've gone and done it. I've signed up for National Novel Writing Month here in the States. Why? A cheap way to fill virtual pages here. A chance to increase my ever growing Carpal-Tunnel Syndrome. The opportunity to add "unpublished novelist" next to "unpublished author" on my resume. The right to daily lambaste Stew, Nuffy, Zimpter, Linus, and Jorge with tart barbs about their meagre output here. Money. Fame. Fortune.

As you can see, I'm already hallucinating.

I've already decided the plot of the novel will be the stream-of-conscious, paranoid delusions of a comedy blogger. So, it will be like a lot of my other entries, only longer, and with car chases and sex scenes (not me...heavens, what would the missus say?)

So, hang on. A novel is about to be borne forth on this site, and you will be able to witness that birth. I promise to make it as messy and painful as actual childbirth. I'd get the episiotomy, but it's not physically possible for males. Just assume that the pain is similar, rhetorically speaking.

And, should you be sufficiently driven, you can always go to the site and start a novel of your own... Heaven help you.

I just realized I'm wasting words here that could be considered part of the novel. Maybe I should retitle this post "Prologue?"

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