It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Speaking of bottoms...

Sorry about leaving you all alone Earl but I had to walk the whippet. Actually the problem has been what to write about. The Super Bowl went off without a hitch or wardrobe malfunction and didn’t everyone expect Scissors Sisters to win at the Brits? Ah, but we can always count on Yahoo! to come through in a pinch. Reading this story I have to believe this is either the worst alibi ever proffered or the worst way one can imagine to tie one on, no pun intended.

As a guy that has the occasional aperitif or dram of some spirit I find this story both sad and intriguing at the same time. We have to think if this becomes a trend that our drinking terms like “bend the elbow”, “drink like a fish”, and “take a nip” will become obsolete. We may have to talk about “a nip up the fanny” or “inner tubin’” or some such nonsense. Homer Simpson would probably be asking for a “Duff up the duff” at Moe's Tavern.

We would also be exposed to a new generation of drinks, if they can be called that, as bartenders and mixologists experiment with a world of new concoctions. I can just hear the names now: A Rum in the Bum, A Beam and coke, Foggy Bottom, Kick in the Backside, Rump-lestilskin, and even a non-alcoholic Perrier for the Derriere (ok so that may be taking it too far).

As for me I’ll just have a Heine. Oh grow up, I mean the beer… and not in the tookus.

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