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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Scary Costumes

Stew,

I was just sitting here contemplating what costume to allow the Littlest Fando to wear this year, when I saw your post. I had narrowed the choices down to either Senior Citizen Cher or Harriet Miers - Stealth Justice. Both are unsatisfactory. As for the Cher costume, I will simply not allow my child to dress like one of Tom Jones backup singers, even if the fake waxy bodysuit (designed to capture the unique look of the former Mrs. Bono and Allman) is head to toe. The Miers costume is too vague. In that costume she could be mistaken for anyone from Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Priscilla Owen, or more troublingly: Cher at 90.

(Cher - I kid! We love you here at DOUI. However, if you decide to call us names in the press or on Letterman, it's cool. We need the publicity.)

I did have some observations about some of the costumes you featured though. I'll try to keep them brief so as not to push the pictures down the page too far.

#1. Hasn't little Jimmy actually impaled Nemo?
#2. Is there a Martha Stewart edition for girls?
#3. I was thinking this was Olivia Newton John's character in Grease, after she gives into John Travolta's character. So I suppose the correct definition would be "Scientology slut."
#4. Why is the hippie child playing a ukelele?
#8. Two words: Cha-ka
#9. I can see the slogan now:"Let your child be a horse's ass for Halloween!"
#11. It's really a horror costume. Because Wonder Woman is dead, you know.
#13. Roy Orbison doing his Elvis impersonation!
#15. It's cool how the Tom Cruise costume comes with a little couch to jump on, in case they don't give you candy or offer Ritalin instead.
#21. That Reverend Al Sharpton costume will never catch on. The hairpiece is too time-intensive to maintain. Just frizz it out and go as Don King.
#27. What can you say about a Dick Cheney costume that comes with it's own defibrilator? (Apologies if Letterman has done this bit 4 or 5 times.)
#47. Three Words: Smurf costumes bite.
#48. Kinko's Copyboy Costume? For the child who needs no friends, nor self-respect.
#124. Yonkers, Pastrami, Oleo, and The Vienna Boys Choir...and they said it couldn't be done in a costume!

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