If we wanted to use more than 140 characters, we'd be writing more here.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Face/Off: Part Deux

Somewhere in a seedy, back alley surgical facility in Paris, a face is surgically removed from one person and implanted on the skull of another. Sound like a futuristic psychological thriller by John Woo filled with gratuitous violence and more continuity errors than you can shake a stick at? Well, it could be. But it actually is an amazing breakthrough in implant surgery that will allow those with disfigured faces to get a face transplant. Of course it could also be used by the unscrupulous to hide their identity for more sinister motives, but it is Paris so c'est la vie.

But where is the comedy you ask? You might say, "facial disfigurement is not a laughing matter". You might even go so far as to imply that we are shameless bastards, who don't have a shred of sympathy in our hearts. Well, normally you would be right, I have to admit that. But I too have seen Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson's (really his name, look it up) stunning portrayal of Justin McLeod in The Man Without a Face, and was deeply touched. To this you might opine, "is everything a movie to you, do you go through life relating every circumstance to a film?" To answer I must use the words of the immortal Groucho Marx as Rufus T. Firefly in Duck Soup, "I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." We can continue this argument in a new paragraph sir.

There, I hope we can be a little more friendly down here apart from the unfortunate little row you started above. Anyway, we are not here to make light of the facially disfigured only to explain, in a hopefully humorous manner, this new procedure and elicit a few cheap laughs by doing this bit. The reader then might rudely inject, "cheap laughs is all you usually elicit." There you go again, that's it I can't go any farther with your abrasive comments, get out of the blog!!

Is he gone now, sheesh, how'd a guy like that get in here? Anyway, now for the punchline to this exceedingly schizophrenic piece.

"Let's just hope we don't see something like this."

(cue rimshot)

Oh alright, I'm just trying to pump up the hits on our site by using Cameron Diaz's picture combined with that of Roseanne Barr. I AM a shameless bastard. Did I mention it was Cameron Diaz?


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