It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Let the Oscars Countdown Begin!

  • Just 60 minutes until the red carpet show begins!
  • Just 61 minutes until Beyonce makes her first of 35 appearances!
  • Just 2 hours until the Oscar broadcast begins!
  • Just 2 hours and 1 minute until Jon Stewart's first Brokeback Mountain joke!
  • Just 2 hours and 2 minutes until the first Kodak Theatre audience groan of the evening!
  • Just 2 hours and 15 minutes to the first Oscar night commercial involving Budweiser, cows giving awards, and the sheep that gets the surprise award!
  • Just 2 hours and 21 minutes until the first "message" acceptance speech of the evening!
  • Just 2 hours and 17 minutes until the first self-indulgent "I owe my great success to..." acceptance speech of the evening!
  • Just 3 hours and 5 minutes until the first overproduced variety number of the evening!
  • Just 3 hours and 37 minutes until the first underproduced video/film presentation of the evening!
  • Just 3 hours and 49 minutes to the most embarrassing clevage outfit!
  • Just 4 hours and 29 minutes until Clint Eastwood falls asleep in the second row of the Kodak Theatre during a lengthy presentation on the importance of sound editing by Keanu Reeves!
  • Just 5 hours and nine minutes until the Irving Thalberg Award presentation, and everyone at home falling asleep!
  • Just 17 hours and 56 minutes until the Best Picture award!

The DOUI Live Blog starts soon! Tell your friends! Tell your family! Tell your enemies! This is the place to be!

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