It's Oscars time. Somebody wake the Grouch.

Monday, April 01, 2013

Dictionary of Unfortunate Ideas Invades North Korea

(AP) In a stunningly brilliant act of military tactics, members of the American humor blog "The Dictionary of Unfortunate Ideas" successfully invaded North Korea this morning and overthrew the government there.

Details are still emerging, but it appears that a three man "assault team," code named "Steel Teem Slicks" stealthily made their way onto North Korean shores, disguised as a touring company of the Broadway musical Cats. They avoided the heavily-mined Demilitarized Zone by flying in on jet packs decorated to look like albatrosses. This explains the odd press release by North Korean media earlier in the morning regarding "the wonderful attraction our glorious, beloved leader has for large waterfowl carrying enormous cats."

After landing on North Korean shores, the assault team members apparently commandeered military vehicles. Rum Tum Tugger was seen driving a tank. Old Deuteronomy was observed in a military hovercraft, and Macavity wasn't seen at all, but locals did report a government-licensed Mercedes-Benz speeding along highways, with the sounds of U2 and loud meowing coming out of it.

Within an hour, the North Korean military establishment was in disarray, all of them having received telegrams purporting to be from North Korean ruler Kim Jong Un and ordering them to arrest their comrades for high treason. This led to a violent 1,200 person stand off, which quickly degraded to only two remaining combatants (video here).

Reports from within the secretive, communist nation suggest that leader Kim Jong Un has gone missing, and may be held by the assault team in an undisclosed location. This was partially confirmed by a tweet from former Vice President Dick Cheney which read, "Was nostalgically visiting old 'undisclosed location' and you'll never guess who I saw here!"

(Hadley Hasbro, Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, and Skimbleshanks all contributed to this report.)

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Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter!