If you're not Donald Trump, check out our archives below. If you are Donald Trump, fix your hair before you do that. Please.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
The Next Big Trending Twitter Topic
Those of you who tweet are probably aware of the Trending Topics section of Twitter, where the latest popular or timely topics are catalouged for easy access. One phenomenon of this section is the occasional appearance of some topic designed to allow twits (or tweeters, if you must) to dash off jokes. (The RiffTrax lads and Lileks are especially fond of this, and quite good at it.)
Every once in awhile you'll get a really clever subject to riff on. However, more commonly the subjects are lowest common denominator, populist stuff like #3wordsaftersex or #liesgirlstell.* Consequently, the quality of the responses is... let's say "mixed." One topic, "#3breakupwords, " elicited the following response from one twit: &@$% you &%@&#! (Count the letters and use your imagination. It won't take long to figure out.) The bulk of responses are mildly wittier.
So, for the benefit of the more erudite, not to mention civil twits out there, I plan to push the some trending topics of my own over the next few days. After all, I have upwards of thirty followers now, not all of them automated. I should be able to get some momentum, right? Join in and ride the feel-good wave of the following topics.
The Next Big Trending Topics:
- #crapdognames (and not "#dogcrapnames")
*The pound/hash sign has some Twitter significance, though I have no idea what it could mean. I've considered posting a tweet that reads "##" but have refrained for fear of bringing down the whole system.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Cakey the Jacked-Up Twitter
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Poetry and Truthiness
So I see Earl Francis Fando is fabricating the network news again. It is just the sort of thing you would expect from a rogue type of person who associates with rascals and rogues and goes on vacation to rogue-filled villages across the turgid waters of the Endless Sea. I don't know if his allegations concerning Cakey the Jacked-Up Clown and Jorge Carlito Viejo are true or not. I can't vouch for either of those two beloved American icons. Mostly, I just think of them as being part of the great mass of Less Than Five Times Betterness, thus dismissing all that they are and all that they do.
And now, a poem:
Eleven persons in a too-small car,
One guy slurping a melted candy bar,
Another one putting make-up on a ceramic doll,
One playing Ping Pong with a deflated basketball,
Two eating mayonnaise right out of the bottle,
One head-locking a chicken and pulling its wattle,
Three reading comic books and wearing no pants,
One little bitty guy in the trunk doing a dance,
Seven of them have moustaches with bread crumbs therein,
Four of them have broken noses and dirt on their skin,
Five have no gender and no certain name,
Six have no singular identity but are playing a game,
and all eleven of them are melted into one big pile,
of wax and pipe cleaners and hippopotamus bile.
And on that note, a cartoon about poetry I found on VHS in a trunk in my grandma's attic:
Monday, May 25, 2009
Jorge's Cake Hole
I finally got around to viewing Nuffalupugus's latest video. (As co-editor of the site, I'm contractually obligated to... Stew is the other official co-editor, but apparently his contract has the word "edit" scratched out and the word "golf" penciled in. Strangely enough, there's also a "7" in the contract that has a line drawn through it to make it look like a "4".)
Anyway, I had no idea Jorge and Cakey were so obsessed with this Excitimando fellow. I always thought their pasttimes were a) Danny DeVito, b) The late, great Mark Northover, and c) poop (Cakey only). I'm not sure why they're so threatened by the bloke. Other than the fact that he's having my vacation before me (must remember to try the shamrock soup in Limerick) he sounds like a terribly decent and charming chap.
Nonetheless, this obsession has clearly gone too far, as demonstrated by the BBC World News report below. I suppose Nuffy will have to bail out Jorge. However, Cakey will have chewed through the bars by now.
Update: BTW, I don't know about this Excelsimando fellow, but I'll be sipping stouts, not ales. I'm also still trying to figure out what Jorge was saying at the end of the previous video. It was either, "Happiness!" or "Hi, [technical term for portion of male anatomy]."