Crazy Diego
Argentina coach and legendary player* Diego Maradona out on quite a show during the 2010 World Cup. In the space of a couple of weeks he managed to:
- Confuse people with constant changes between tracksuits and very, very expensive suits.
- Mistake the Golden Boot winner (for the most goals) for a German ballboy.
- Insist on press conferences at a single location in South Africa, regardless of where Argentina were playing.
- Acted out Beethoven's Ode to Joy every time Argentina scored.
- Acted out Wagner's Gotterdamerung every time Argentina got scored on.
- Wear out over 70 sets of rosary beads.**
- Get into a heated argument with German fans after losing to Germany in the quarterfinals.
- Suggested that the reason so many star players failed to perform is that they weren't "selfish" enough ...you know, like he was when he played.
- Becomes the spokesperson for Armani's new $1,000 three-piece tracksuit.
- Confuses Lionel Messi with Paul Simon and repeatedly asks the Barcelona forward to "play 'Kodachrome.'"
- Grows his beard out and joins ZZ Top on a combination blues rock and football tour of Asia.
- Becomes infuriated when he finds out that the Jonas Brothers won't be coming back to Argentina for a full three months.
- Mistakes FIFA President Sepp Blatter for actress Betty White. Keeps asking Sepp what Mary Tyler Moore was like.
- Pranked by Russell Brand into thinking he's being sought to coach the English national team.
- Doesn't streak through Buenos Aires, since Argentina didn't win the World Cup, but he does moon a busload of River Plate supporters at a Buenos Aires Wal Mart.
- Gets into an argument with Elmo the Muppet during a guest appearance on Sesame Street. Refers to Elmo as a "cheating German mafioso fuzzball."
- Becomes addicted to Kelloggs Fruit Loops and takes to appearing in public with a toucan on his shoulder.
- Accidentally knocks his friend Fidel out while taking free kicks with casaba melons.
- Declares that Nickelodeon cartoon Go Diego Go is based on his professional stint at Napoli and that Baby Jaguar is based on his coke dealer.
- Castigates actor Danny DeVito for "looking down on him."
- Knocked out of first round of The Next Iron Chef when his receipe for cherries flambe turns out to be a flaming jersey he exchanged with another player after an international match with Spain.
- Rehired to coach Argentina through the 2014 World Cup because, as the Argentina Football Association notes, you can't buy publicity like this.
** This is an estimation.
Labels: Diego Maradona, Dora the Explorer, World Cup 2010